Homeowners Beware: Avoid These Tacky Kitchen Faux Pas

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By: Mia Williams | Published: Jan 31, 2023

Have you ever been given a kitchen accessory or tool that you knew was just plain odd? All too often, we can find ourselves walking down a slippery slope to tacky kitchen designs. But it doesn’t have to be like this! 

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A great way to ensure this happens is by having a checklist of all the things you should avoid when designing your kitchen. Why? Because everyone notices an ugly, messy or poorly designed space – but no one will praise an average one. Let’s make sure our kitchens are places we never have to be embarrassed about showing off!

No Hanging Around: Keep Your Kitchen Free of Clutter and Grease!

Hanging pots may seem like the perfect addition to your kitchen, adding a touch of class or making you look like a serious home cook. But really, these bulky pans are just gathering dust and not doing anything for your cooking skills. Plus, no one wants to see all that burnt-on grease!

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The truth is that hanging pots should be reserved for professional chefs in restaurant kitchens or low-budget romcoms. To show off your culinary prowess let your cooking do the talking, not clanking cookware! So save yourself some clutter and heartache, store those bulky pans away out of sight and keep your kitchen looking perfect!

No Thanks to Chandeliers in the Kitchen!

You may love the idea of having a chandelier in your kitchen, but resist the urge! Sure, it looks great and you can even get some cool Instagram shots from it. But when you think about all the dust and dirt that will accumulate AND how steam and oil from cooking gets stuck on every single piece it’s just not on.

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We say no thanks! Not worth the hassle to keep them looking nice. Go for a different kind of lighting that’s easy to take care of – because nobody has time to scrub chandeliers weekly and still make those sumptuous meals!

Goodbye Uncomfortable Chairs, Hello Comfort!

Gone are the days when we thought it was a good idea to fill up our homes with furniture that only looked good and wasn’t comfortable. From Grandma’s hardwood straight-back chairs to modern chairs with questionable comfort ratings, we’ve had enough.

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It’s time to trade uncomfortable furniture for something comfortable. Having dinner guests sit in chairs they don’t want to be in isn’t just convenient; it’s embarrassing! Before you invite anyone over, make sure the seating is cozy. After all, no one wants their dinner guests wincing in pain or leaving early due to backache! Say goodbye to uncomfortable chairs and hello comfort!

The Do's and Don'ts of Kitchen Design

When it comes to kitchen design, you want to avoid a pattern overload. Having too many or the same pattern everywhere is like trying to get free tiles on the cheap—it’s exhausting and simply won’t work! 

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Instead, keep patterns in check by having just one type of tile, preferably one that’s neutral or has a subtle texture. And if you have your heart set on a Moroccan-inspired theme, our advice is simple: go ahead with it—but make sure you’re living in Morocco when doing so! With these tips in mind, your kitchen will be the envy of all who enter.

No More Mismatched China: Why Open Shelves are Not a Good Idea

Say Goodbye to Mismatched Dishes and Hasta La Vista to Open Shelves! While they might look good on Instagram, mismatched china can be an eyesore in real life – and is sure to annoy at least half of your guests.

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Not only that, but open shelves scream either slob or compulsive cleaner, so it’s not the best conversation starter for a polite party. On top of it all, you’ll need to dust everything each week or risk having your white crockery turn progressively more beige. We say pass on the mismatch and skip the extra cleaning.

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Bidding Farewell (And Good Riddance!) to Linoleum 

Say goodbye to linoleum — and good riddance! It may have been the go-to flooring option in times gone by, but buying a new home these days without it is a real blessing. For homeowners who are fortunate enough not to have linoleum, they can breathe easy knowing they’ll never have to come into contact with its vinyl atrocity again. 

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The only thing worse than having this bacteria-infested material underfoot is attempting to clean it – an ordeal that could end with you discovering some intriguing microbes if you look closely! Any kitchen still sporting this outdated style should be avoided by any self respecting home owner!

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Illuminate Your Kitchen with Style! 

Are you fed up with your kitchen feeling like a hospital operating room? Cold, unflattering fluorescent lights make your food look dull and no one wants to eat it. Not to mention that they’re dangerous, difficult to remove, and require frequent maintenance. So why not ditch the dreariness of those lights in favor of something more inviting? 

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You can infuse some life into your kitchen and truly wow your guests with stylish lighting solutions that are safe, easy-to-install, and energy efficient. Let’s say goodbye to boring fluorescent fixtures for good – it’s time for you to head into the light!

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Don't Settle for White Appliances – Here's What You Should Choose Instead! 

It’s time to say farewell to the days of white appliances! Sure, they look good in stores and out of the box, but after a few months of daily scrubbing they start to show their age. If you want a reliable, long-lasting appliance that looks great too – invest in stainless steel finish.

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Not only do these beauties provide all the functionality you need, but also bring an added touch of class and sophistication to your kitchens and bathrooms. Plus, if you get multiple appliances at once – your beloved home will stay looking classic and chic for years to come!

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Goodbye, All-White Kitchens - Hello, Breathtaking Colors! 

Say goodbye to those sterile, depressing kitchens of the past. It’s time to embrace colors and make your kitchen a place you can be proud of. Keep one thing in mind: white isn’t everything! White can be tacky and hard to keep clean – any speck of dust or tiny spill will stand out like a sore thumb.

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Instead, go for something unique that will add life and warmth to your kitchen. Choose bold hues for walls or cabinets, vivid tile backsplashes that create an eye-catching pattern behind countertops or cabinets. There are so many incredible color options available, don’t be afraid to play around with them! 

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Brighten Up Your Kitchen Without Going Overboard 

Do you want to make your kitchen brighter without going overboard? We all know that having too many colors in the kitchen can be visually draining, not to mention obnoxious. So why not stick with a neutral base color and then give it a few pops of vibrant shades here and there?

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After all, rainbows are meant for bright blue skies after a fresh rainstorm – not your kitchen! Show off your personality through other fun details like fun food dishes, music choices or interesting topics of conversation; this way, you won’t feel committed to crazy color when designing your culinary space.

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How to Show Your Love for Wine without Puns 

We understand that after a long day of work, there’s nothing like a glass of wine to help you relax. But what if we told you that instead of emblazoning your kitchen with punny signs, there’s an easier and cheaper way to express your affection?

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Simply tell people! Sure, it may sound too simple, but at least they won’t mistake your kitchen for a vineyard or liquor store  – and you’ll save yourself from all the pointed stares. So don’t bother decorating; just spread the word about how much love vino.

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Step Away from the Door Signs! 

Do you really need to hang signs that say “Kitchen” on your door? No, you don’t! Unless you have an absolutely enormous home and are worried your guests will get lost, or you’re very absent minded,these signs probably aren’t necessary. 

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People will know it’s a kitchen simply by seeing all the cooking appliances like an oven or sink. Labeling it with a sign is just as silly as labeling the bathroom door with one that says “clean your behind.” Let’s let our guests use their common sense here and skip out on hanging up these unnecessary door signs.

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Upgrade Your Kitchen with a Fresh Coat of Paint 

Give your kitchen an upgrade without breaking the bank by giving those cabinets a fresh coat of paint! Solid wood cabinets are super sturdy and can be repainted very easily, so it’s a great way to spruce up your kitchen in just one afternoon. 

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Choose neutral colors that will last through the years, instead of being stuck in one decade with one type of wood. Whether you’re looking for a heritage-style look or updating an older kitchen, painting is a budget-friendly solution that won’t let your cabinets spill secrets about how long they’ve been around!

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Say Goodbye to Tacky Faucets - Welcome to Modern and Stylish Models!

It’s time for an upgrade. Why? Because modern models offer awesome style, great performance and practicality that fit your needs perfectly. Today’s much-improved faucets are not only better looking than their outdated counterparts but they also work more efficiently. 

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Plus, these stylish models don’t have to be super expensive either – you can get access to the latest features at a very reasonable price! So why not say goodbye to tacky outdated designs for good? Get yourself a modern model with all the bells and whistles that perfectly suit your needs. You’ll love how luxurious it makes your home look!

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Don't Waste Your Time and Money on Tacky Kitchen Design! 

Do you want to live in a kitchen nightmare for the rest of your life? Ever since 2008, it’s been all too easy to fall into the trap of splurging thousands of dollars on tacky tuscany kitchens. If you’re not from Tuscany, don’t be tempted to make it appear that way.

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Save those ill-spent funds and take a trip instead! You can take pictures with you when it’s time to leave, to be the only reminder that you need. So don’t let yourself fall victim – or make others suffer – through terrible (and expensive) kitchen design choices; enjoy a stylish kitchen experience instead!

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Put Your Doilies in Storage …  Permanently! 

Stop with the doilies! If your grandmother or relative ever made them and you’ve gotten a few as inheritance or gifts, it’s time to set them aside. Though they may bring back fond memories, they are highly absorbent and outdated in terms of home decor.

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You definitely don’t want to be using any of these old-fashioned items for food covering – it’s a bacteria harboring nightmare that no one needs! Instead of being used for decoration in the kitchen or living room, the best place for your doilies is storage – where they can stay looking nice and out of harm’s way.

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Say 'Bonjour' to a Simple Kitchen! 

Tired of dreaming of chateaus in the French countryside? Ditch your Tuscan-themed kitchen, ditch those cows mooing outside your window, and say bonjour to a stylishly simple kitchen! France may be the home of fine cuisine but their kitchens don’t always give this vibe.

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You don’t need (or want!) cheesy wooden signs or faux rustic decor – choose minimalistic cabinets and appliances that are sure to give you the chic yet comfortable vibe you’re looking for. No country themes necessary – keep it simple and your kitchen will be just as lovely as any scene from La Vie en Rose.

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Don't Settle for Half-Done Backsplashes! 

Don’t settle for less – don’t resort to those pesky half-done tiled backsplashes that turn your walls into a lifetime of scrubbing and oil splatter. Invest in some quality and commit to doing it all the way, or not at all. 

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Real estate agents know that kitchens and bathrooms are key selling points, so why put the brakes on before you’re even done? Don’t take shortcuts when it comes to tiles – make sure your backsplash looks perfect from top to bottom! Don’t let subpar workmanship get in the way of a beautiful kitchen or bathroom – go full force with professional tilework and enjoy it for years.

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Say Goodbye to the 80s Kitchen Desk and Say Hello to Fun in the Kitchen! 

It’s time to bid adieu to the kitchen desk of the 80s.Who ever thought that was a good idea anyway? Sure, it was a great place for tracking your planner, but who needs a planner with all of today’s technology right at your fingertips? 

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Working away in the kitchen sounds like nothing more than bringing office stress into your home. Instead, only make food and make it fun! Put away those bills, grocery bags and unnecessary clutter. Don’t let it take up space; turn that corner into something special – a place for de-stressing and escaping from work worries!

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Stay Away from Halfway-Done Backsplashes and Tile Counters! 

Countertops get a lot of use. From food spills to rolling out dough, they take a beating. So why would you make life harder by covering them in tiny tiles? Sure, it looks nice – but those small grout lines require lots of care to keep clean. 

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And if you go for dark grout you’ll be fooled into thinking your counters are sanitary when really, they’re not – yuck! Skip this trend and save yourself money, effort and a whole lot of icky germs in the long run.When it comes to kitchen hygiene poorly made backsplashes and impractical tiles are a big no no!

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Say Goodbye to Distressed Cabinets Life in the 21st Century isn’t Easy. 

Between juggling home, work, and family obligations, you don’t need the added stress of outdated cabinets. Vintage might be hip and all that but spending thousands of dollars on cabinets just to make them look like they have a history from the 1920s is downright crazy. 

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Let’s face it – unless your house should be declared a historical site or belongs in a museum, it’s time to say goodbye to distressed cabinets! Why not go all out and distress your walls, floors and curtains while you’re at it? Don’t let ugly old-fashioned cabinetry ruin your modern home aesthetic!

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Say No To Industrial Appliances - Let Your Home Be A Home 

Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses when it comes to kitchen appliances! Sure, stainless steel looks great – but there’s no need to have a pasta arm or walk-in fridge that is designed for an industrial kitchen in your suburban home.

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If you’re not running a soup kitchen,or high volume eatery, stick to having normal-sized appliances that will help you cook for your family more comfortably. Instead of turning your house into an industrial soup kitchen, make it into a welcoming home and cozy place where everyone can enjoy delicious meals cooked with love.

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Stop Living the Farm Life Fantasy! 

Longing for the farm and putting up signs to show it? Well, if your kitchen isn’t actually a farmers market, let us break it down for you in a fun and engaging way. Having a “I have a kitchen, like a farmers market” sign in your home is both gathering dust and making you look ridiculous.

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If you don’t physically sell farm fresh eggs from your window,then please don’t advertise that possibility with signage! We get it- the sign is cute, quirky, and creative- but let’s be real here and leave the far-fetched farm life for fantasy land!

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Keep That Dorky Lace Away From Us! 

Doilies, curtains, or tablecloths – if they have any hint of lace in them, you can forget inviting us over. Why? Although lace used to be a sign of wealth and prestige many years ago, nowadays it generally is made from cheap polyester which is a huge fire hazard. 

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However, if you happen to own some real vintage French lace then keep that tucked away safe and sound – in a vacuum-sealed bag(preferably in the attic). Bacteria and dust won’t stand a chance against vacuum sealing!Please ensure lacy items are taken off the dinner table before we show up at your place.

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Ditch the Speckled Granite – Upgrade to Something Better!

Say goodbye to that unsightly speckled granite countertop! It’s outdated, gross, and confusing to the eye. Plus it absorbs all types of dirt and grime that you don’t want on your countertops. Let’s not even talk about those terrible false speckled granite countertops that are just vinyl over pressed-wood — yikes! 

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Instead, opt for something more modern and stylish, like a sleek marble or quartz surface that will truly elevate your kitchen design.These options both look good and are super practical. With a little investment in a better quality material, you’ll be able to enjoy your new cooking space much more.

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Think Twice Before You Go For Marble! 

We all know that when something becomes popular it ends up becoming pretty common. So instead of buying museum-grade marble for your kitchen, you may want to consider using another material that still gives you the look and feel of luxury without breaking the bank. 

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Not only will it let you stay on budget, but also can actually have an edge over marble – disguising stains with its natural colorings and patterns being visible to guests, nobody wants to be caught in a dirty kitchen! So whether your style is modern or classic, think twice before going for marble – there are plenty of other options instead.

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Get Ready to Say Goodbye to Clean Walls with Tumbled Marble! 

Tired of scrubbing your walls and floors forever, without ever achieving spotless perfection? Have you heard about the latest trend in interior design – tumbled marble tiles? Here’s why these gorgeous and unique tiles can be a massive headache. 

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While they do look stunning at first glance, they are extremely fragile, meaning that any attempt of using harsh cleaning chemicals will absolutely destroy them. On top of that, tiny cracks tend to accumulate bacteria faster than the blink of an eye! So if you want to keep your walls clean for more than five minutes… don’t ever intoduce  tumbled marble into your home!

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Saying No to Fake Food! Let’s Stop the Facade - No More Plastic Displays!

From the not-so-real looking apples, to that suspiciously plastic-looking cake, it’s time to face the truth. Displaying fake food to show your healthy menu is nothing but false advertising and a lie.Why bother trying to make your kitchen look like a market produce stall?

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Let’s take a step forward and be honest – embrace our cravings for real brownies, cakes and candy instead of settling for displaying artificial foodstuff. Not only is this mentally much healthier behavior but it’s also more enjoyable than pretending otherwise.Crunch a healthy apple and let’s say goodbye to fake food once and for all!

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This is Not A Desert Island - Give Your Ferns a Break! 

Move over, ferns, it’s time to give your flora a break from the constant torture of dust and grease. These poor plants may be symbols of health and life but they don’t need to be in your kitchen – millions of tiny leaves are waiting to drop on the floor every time you try and clean up! 

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Not to mention that we definitely don’t want them in our food, so don’t force them on us (and yourself!). Find another place for those lovely little ferns that aren’t subjected to such harsh conditions. Let’s give these plants (and ourselves) some much-needed peace of mind.

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Get that Microwave Outta Here! 

Don’t let your constructor cut corners with your kitchen setup. Chances are, if you have a microwave over your oven, you’re in for some nasty results. That array of heat and steam will warp and melt the plastic components of the microwave, not to mention damaging the working parts.

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And don’t think that turning on the fan is gonna help out – it’s just not worth it! Do yourself a favor and get that microwave moved from its current spot and replace it with an extraction hood – trust us, it’ll make all the difference in your cooking experience!

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Enjoy the Art of Home Cooking with No Mess or Stress

When it comes to home-cooked meals, it can be a daunting task to adopt the perfection you see in cooking shows. After all, no one wants their living room smelling like burnt broccoli! But why worry about making a mess when you can enjoy the simple act of preparing delicious food for your loved ones? 

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With some helpful advice and tips from experts, you can create amazing meals in the privacy of a closed kitchen. Keep the clutter out of sight so that everyone will focus on your delicious dishes instead. Embrace the art of closed kitchen cooking—it’s not as complicated as it seems!

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No Need For The Fire Brigade - Cooking Your Way With Safe Blinds!

Ready for a culinary journey to liven up your kitchen? When it comes to window treatments, forget about complicated and ornate valances! Put safety first and choose easy-to-clean blinds or go for the popular new trend of UV tinted windows. Not only will these keep you safe from potential fire hazards, but they’ll require little upkeep too! 

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Keep thick fabrics out of your kitchen as they will quickly become stained with grease and odors. Don’t settle for anything but the best – blinds or tints! With these options, you won’t have to worry about replacing them regularly – one less thing on your list of chores. Happy cooking!

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Put Away the Chevron: Warning Colors Don't Belong in the Kitchen !

A chevron pattern is overbearing and usually means danger! When you’re creating a kitchen for your guests to enjoy, it’s definitely not the way to go if you want them to notice your food or kitchen. After all,who wants their first thoughts when looking at food to be of caution or warning? 

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Stick with classic colors and patterns that match the theme of your home for a welcoming atmosphere.If you must make a point about keeping hands off certain items in the kitchen, choose bright warning colors like red, yellow, and black instead – those alone will do the trick. 

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Spice Up Your Kitchen with Stylish and Subtle Fridge Colors! 

Say goodbye to bright colors that make you feel like avoiding the kitchen altogether. Fridges should be subtle, calming, and stylish. Let your personality shine in the kitchen by choosing a softer color for your fridge that still looks great with all of your other appliances. 

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A muted gray could give an elegant vibe, or even a classic black if you are going for a more modern aesthetic. Don’t forget about blues and greens – they can add a pop of color without making you want to cover up the fridge with curtains.Keep it classy and quiet with some stylishly colored fridges.

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Say Good-bye to Old and Bulky Brass Handles! 

We all have those pesky brass handles in our homes. Those days are over! It’s time for us to put the brass handles out of their misery and join the modern age. Modern handles come in a range of finishes and materials that provide both enhanced durability and ease of maintenance. 

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And no more worrying about hotspots worn down over time where people have touched them over and over—you can now fully enjoy the beautiful look of your fixtures without feeling grossed out by someone else’s fingerprints! Say good-bye to those brass handles once and for all and hello to the snazzy new varieties!

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Don't Bring That Barn Into Your Kitchen! 

Forget that farmhouse feel, barn doors are not the way to go if you want an elegant kitchen. Save the barn doors for your actual barn – as you’re obviously living on a farm (why else would you need these clumsy items?) Avoid the dirt, grease, and other messes they can bring into your home. 

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Sure you can use them to hide a cow in your pantry – but do you really need to? Stick with traditional doorways and keep your kitchen classy.Barn doors may have been the fashion back in the 1840s, but we’ve come a long way since then.

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Goodbye Plastic Dishes, Hello Adult Choices! 

It’s time for you to make adult choices and say goodbye to plastic plates with puppies on them. Whether you have children or not, it’s time to invest in a basic white set of dishes – they’re probably as inexpensive as those plastic ones. 

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They also won’t fade over time like the printed images do when washed in a dishwasher – leaving behind awkward scrub marks. So it’s an all round no from us; ditch the plastic plates and opt for something more grown-up! Giving your kitchen table an adult makeover doesn’t need to break the bank either.

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Ditch the Disposables for a Sustainable and Stylish Gatherings.

Tired of the same old paper plates on your picnics and gatherings? Why not opt for something more sustainable that won’t leave a pile of trash in its wake? Going reusable is an easy way to make lasting impressions while still being kind to Mother Nature. 

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With just a bit of effort, you can stand out from the crowd without having to sacrifice convenience. And if you’re worried about washing dishes being such an unpleasant chore, don’t be – with quality dishware, it doesn’t have to be! By putting in just a little effort, your gathering can be both eco-friendly and stylish.

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Spice Up Your Kitchen Decor with Mason Jars 

Using mason jars for decoration is definitely ‘in’ right now. But why shouldn’t you use them to make your home look stylish? We think it’s time they were given a chance! And don’t worry, we still firmly believe that actual cooks should put food in mason jars and use them for their intended uses. 

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Hang them from the ceiling or walls for a unique lighting effect looking like miniature street lanterns. If you put enough thought into it and make it truly yours, you’ll be surprised how good of an eye-catching statement piece it makes. 

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All That Glitters Is Not Gold – Say Goodbye to Travertine Tile Travesty

Goodbye 2020s, hello 2000s! Travertine tile was once the greatest hit of decades gone by. While some might attempt to revive the trend, we have one word for that: don’t. It’s still just as gross and dated as it ever was.

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Travertine is a porous limestone based tile, meaning that liquid absorption won’t be on your side when working with this bad boy. Even if you opt for highly polished and treated tiles, they’ll just appear too shiny and out-of-date in today’s world. So instead of bringing back travertine tiles from years ago, keep living in the here and now!

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