Every Time A Florida Man Did Something So Crazy We Did A Double Take
You’ve seen the headlines, another day, another Florida Man doing something outrageous. We love to see it–it’s entertaining.
Whatever is in the water over there in Florida, we sure do enjoy reading about the hilarious hijinks that the men of Florida get themselves into.
He Was Tired Of Waiting
This Florida Man was tired of waiting to be treated at the hospital and decided to take matters into his own hands. What else was he to do but steal the closest vehicle he could find.
The real question that we have is how did he get to the hospital in the first place? Perhaps it was via an ambulance so the natural conclusion was to go back from whence he came.
He Was All About Transparency
When this Florida Man got the bright idea to rob a GameStop he thought he might as well protect his identity in the process. But how?
Maybe all he had in the car was the plastic bag, or maybe somewhere deep inside he wanted to be caught, he is not such a bad guy after all. Either way, it was a solid attempt, but it did not work.
He Missed His Friends
When someone breaks out of jail, we can kind of understand. Who wants to be locked behind closed bars away from society and freedom? But when someone breaks in? What?
This Florida Man just missed his friends. Apparently, the whole gang was hanging out in prison and he was feeling left out so he broke into prison. Whacky doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Technically The Truth
This man is very literal in his ideas about drinking and drinking. If he was technically stopped at lights each time–the car was perfectly still, how could this be drinking and driving? This is the question posed by Florida Man.
Clearly this methodology was not successful, as he was caught and probably booked. But hey– worth a try.
This Florida Man had some breaking news that he needed to get off of his chest, that he thought school children should be privy to.
This gentleman decided to climb atop the playground and explain to children where babies come from. Seems like a bad idea.
"I The Police..."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad of an idea is it to present a fake badge to another member of society and present yourself as a police officer?
We’ll let you be the judge, but it’s up there. Florida Man did just that and clearly, since we know, so do the police.
How many takes does it take to get the correct spelling of the word “school?” In the age of spellcheck, perhaps a lot.
There doesn’t seem to be a lot of forethought from this Florida Man when he painted the school crossing, as evident by the twice misspelling of the word “school.” Third time’s the charm?
When Flavoring Is Suspect
This is a two for one, because not only did this Florida Man mistake his seasoning for dirt, but he is also a police officer.
The two for one comes in the form of the witty response left by the twitter handle @floridaman, who said “I bet this guy is really good at solving crimes.” Funny.
There Was An Attempt
This is not only one inglorious Florida Man, but “thousands” with an obscure plan to shoot down a hurricane.
You are not misreading, friend. This has a lot to unpack. We actually rather not, as it isn’t going to lead anywhere we can truly follow.
A Compassionate Thief ?
Stealing a car? A very bad thing to do, very bad. But what is worse than that beyond measure is stealing an actual child along the way.
While the parent was no doubt freaking out, the amount of relief that they must have felt when their child was returned must have been amazing.